• The best spa hotels in the north of England
Insider tip: a gruelling life coaching session and painful massage should always be followed up with something healthy and delicious (in the same vein that a trip on the night tube should always be rewarded with a kebab). I went for the spa menu’s seared tuna, and Stress Reliever smoothie with fennel, pomegranate and beetroot.
COMO Metropolitan’s rooms are ideal for relaxation after an intense spa sessions, with low Asian-style beds, oatmeal carpets, and pallid walnut furnishings. The highest rooms have sylvan views of Hyde Park, which you can admire from the deep-soak bath tubs. Design flourishes gently hum rather than shout: a curved pastel yellow armchair here, and picture frame displaying delicate pressed feathers there.
Rooms have complimentary yoga mats, and meditation exercises available via the TV's. With commitment to the cause, I drifted off to sleep listening to the nourishing American voice drift from the speakers, telling me "the day is over, there’s nothing to hold onto anymore" and urging me to be "aware of my power".
I woke up more energised than usual and skipped down to breakfast, served in the hushed, eye-scrunchingly bright White Room – where I felt strangely compelled to sit with with a rod-straight posture and whisper to the waiters, as if in a library. I chose from the health menu. The quinoa porridge was an experience best not repeated. And I spent the entire time with one hand splayed awkwardly on the table to conceal a speck of beetroot smoothie that had contaminated the dazzling-white tablecloth. Nonetheless, the presentation of my egg white frittata topped with spinach and slow-roasted tomatoes was highly hashtagable.
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